We saw this while driving through the Adirondack Mountains last week. Either it’s a business that sells shoes, or some sort of whore outlet.

Parking tickets are one thing, but geeze.

This past weekend I did something completely awesome. I attended Awesomecon. What’s Awesomecon? It’s a yearly convention in San Diego, California celebrating one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to television/the internet/comedy/my life, the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (who are Tim and Eric? and what’s so awesome about their show? If in fact you’re asking these questions, it’s far too late for you my poor friend. My condolences).

Having dreamt of attending for nearly 5 years now, I decided early on that going as a mere bystander just wouldn’t do. I had to go all the way. So I did what any man in my position needed to: I called two friends on the west coast who also happened to be huge Awesome Show fans, and I went all the way. Went all the way back, too. Here’s a semi-detailed account of the journey.

This is Van. As far as Tim and Eric fans go, he’s one of the more devout you’re likely to meet in this life (aside from me). Van is 18. I’m 26. Despite this age difference, we’re undoubtedly cut from the same wondrous cloth.

Friday July 23rd 1:30pm: Van picked me up from the LAX airport, roughly 24 hours before Awesomecon would be commencing. We said our hello’s and grabbed a quick bite to eat, then headed off to rendezvous with the 3rd party in our awesome party, Matt Wells.

This is Matt. He’s an old college buddy of mine who lives in LA making music videos and doing other hollywood-badboy-type-stuff. Naturally, he’s also an acolyte of all things Tim and Eric.

The plan: go to Awesomecon dressed up as characters in the Tim and Eric skit “Just 3 Boyz“.

3:00 pm: Matt felt that the best course of action before our shopping spree would be to eat some food at the LA fast food staple Zankou Chicken. Van and I felt the same.

Zankou Chicken specializes in, well, chicken, and other foods of the middle eastern persuasion (falafel, chicken shawarma, kabobs). The one we visited was set up like a Chinese restaurant – no frills; just really dense, delicious sandwich wraps. The chicken shawarma was above average. I liked it a whole lot.

Fully fueled on shawarma and fountain soda, we set forth upon our quest to find the perfect awesome costumes. At the top of the list: giant silky pants, bright yellow shirt, suspenders, and a women’s burgandy velour tracksuit. Our first stop was a Rescue Mission. We scored, big time. It being “la la land” and all, we also stumbled upon a few unexpected treasures.

4:00pm: with the main elements of our outfits procured, we headed to a costume shop to get Matt and Van some fake hair.

4:30 pm: clothing, check. Wigs, check. Next we headed over to Goodwill in search of a lamp (watch Just 3 Boyz and you’ll understand why).

4:40 pm: In no time at all, we found one. Matt also found out that he’ll be working in the casting department for The Hangover 2: even more hung over in Thailand (not actual title). Needless to say, he was happy about it.

And to my incredible surprise, I found a pair of women’s furry boots! Jackpot.

5:13 pm: Our final stop was without question the seediest: A 99 cents store – innocent enough at first. We went in hoping to find a feather duster and a pair of sunglasses, but we got a whole lot more than we bargained for.

Yes, we found a feather duster. Yes, sunglasses. But we also found a cucumber from the produce department (?), as well as a box of condoms (yes, a box. of 12). There are so many things wrong with the notion that one would buy their produce, and condoms for that matter, at a 99 cents store. To make things totally awesome though, there was a price check on our tainted cucumber, which we enjoyed every second of.

“Uhh..what’s the price on this cucumber? Oh, wait…”

7:30 pm: Our wild goose chase had ended. Against seemingly impossible odds, we got everything on our list – and then some. With our dignity and excitement still completely in tact, we headed back to Matt’s place to assemble our costumes. If a policeman had pulled us over on the way home, he would’ve had one hell of a time trying to figure out what we were up to.

12:30am: With our costumes fully assembled, we went to bed. No doubt with visions of Qualls, Chippies and Liebe Harts dancing through our heads.

6:45am: we headed out early in case of heavy traffic on the way down to San Diego.

10:00 am: we arrived in San Diego, CA. What a gorgeous city. It being my first time, I marveled at the ideal weather conditions. Undoubtedly a perfect portrait of a California day. Breathing it all in, we walked around for a bit, then made our way to Embarcadero Marina Park, where awesomecon ’10 was set to take place. With our costumes shoved into plastic bags, we were ready to meet our destiny.

Changing behind a nearby tree, the excitement began to rise. In the distance I saw tents, I saw people. I saw ice cream trucks giving out free Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I even spotted a guy dressed up like The Snuggler. Yes, it was safe to say we were among our people. For the first time since the trip began, I took tremendous pride in dawning my woman’s velour tracksuit and white furry boots.

We cleaned up real nice, if I may be so bold.

Now, if you’ve never watched the Awesome Show, you’ll have no idea who these people are in the following pictures. Suffice it to say though, they’re kind of a big deal. All very weird, all very awesome.

After partaking in the free ice cream and mingling with Awesome show icons, the crowd began assembling around the main tent for the arrival of Tim and Eric. Once they showed up, the party started in a huge way. From there on out, everything felt like a giant, hilarious family picnic.

First, the wheelbarrow race…

Next, the egg toss…

Then, the pinata off…

And finally, the moment we had prepared for, the constume contest (go to 3:57!)

We avoided the loser’s gullet, and made it into the semi-finals. ‘Twas a proud moment indeed. In the end, it wasn’t enough to secure the win. But how can you beat out a 2 year old?

After the costume contest, there was a big trivia standoff, the winner of which got a free skidoo ride on the marina with tim and eric. Copious amounts of karaoke ensued, and a long, long line to say hi to Tim and Eric started forming. We were the last people to make it to their tent before they closed up shop for the afternoon. I’ve met them a few times before, but seeing them this time around, it was clear to me: indeed Tim and Eric are the Beatles of alternative comedy.

We left the marina and stopped off at In-n-Out burger for a final meal before I caught my plane back to Philadelphia. Well, sort of…

I can now check Awesomecon off of my bucket list. Great job!

Until next time.

“I predict a 6″ turkey sub in your future…extra mayo.”

Behold, summer is upon us. That means lots of soul-crushing humidity most of the time. Yesterday though, we had a beautiful day. Taking full advantage of such magic, my pal Ronnie G. and I got together and painted a mural. The following is a few pictures of it.

When doing a renegade mural, one of the best places to work is a heavily tagged wall – it’s a great indicator that A) nobody pays much attention to it and B) in most cases that building is for sale or abandoned. Also, when people see you painting over graffiti in broad day light, they assume you’ve been commissioned to do so by somebody important.

Instead of just covering up the wall tags though (like pretty much every other human in the entire city), we thought it’d be a novel idea to use the graffiti as a backdrop to our mural. That way, everybody wins.

I thought it’d be a good idea for us to write ‘weirld world’ because, well, it is.

Once we threw the main letters up we did a second coat to frame it out, then added drip lines to help add dimension.

And there you have it. The GSD crew strikes again. Gettin’ shit done one day at a time.